Today is election day. Get your shiznit together and vote.
Also special internet prize for the person who can guess who the actor under the “I voted” sticker is.
Predicted as one of the biggest traffic nightmares that Americans ever had to face, Carmageddon was the shutting down of the 405 freeway in a key area of Los Angeles, between the Valley and the West Side. It was suppose to cause ten hour commutes, insane amounts of road rage and, of course, anarchy.
WELL, I SURVIVED IT… and to be honest it was a little bit anti-climatic. Most people chose not to travel that day and to instead just stay home. I used my “off-time” to watch an entire season of Breaking Bad. It was glorious.
Well, two of my favorite news sources, the local news and The Daily Mail, are now reporting that Carmageddon had some unintended consequences… More Babies! 9 months later there has been a mini-baby boom in Los Angeles. This has been reported solely through anecdotal evidence.
A couple, Natasha and Brian Mills have even come forward saying that there baby was conceived during this time. Brian Mills said: ‘We just holed up in the house, kind of sat by the fire and hung out with each other. ‘Natasha Mills added: ‘And the rest, I don’t have to say.’
Whether true or not, there’s nothing more romantic than conceiving your baby during a state of extreme traffic backup where one becomes so frustrated they feel the world is collapsing around them.
There are certain things you should know not to mess with about me:
-I do not eat mayo or ranch, and I do not find it endearing or cute when someone jokingly says they will put it in my food (or actually put it in my food, which my mom once did).
-Saying that words with friends and Scrabble (aka the best game in the universe) are the same thing. They are not. One was created by carefully studying the letter distribution in the New York Times for a year, one is a cheap knock off, slightly changed to not violate copyright laws.
-I watch Desperate Housewives on Sunday nights. I will not pick up my phone, go online or respond to you even in if you show up in person.
WARNING DO NOT CLICK ANY OF THE LINKS BELOW (unless you want to) BECAUSE THEY CONTAIN SPOILERS
So the Los Angeles Times, posted an article on the front page of the LA Extra section called Spoiler in ‘Desperate Housewives’ trial stuns courtroom’. Basically, Nicollette Sheridan, is suing the show’s creator and studio for wrongful termination stemming from the elimination of her character, Edie Britt. This season, they’ve been planning on killing a character on the show and I had no idea who. It’s been building up! So much suspense!
So, right next to the article is a picture of Edie Britt, as well as another character, who will go unnamed. And I look at this picture, and I think, there is no way in the hell that the LA Times is going to be so blatantly stupid and post a picture of the character who is going to die.
Well the caption read like this:
Actor OMITTED’s character in “Desperate Housewives” will be killed off, an executive producer revealed during court testimony.
I didn’t even have to read the article to find out who died. Has the LA Times not heard of the rules of the internet? Where when we are about to reveal a spoiler, we say in big letters SPOILER. It’s that simple!
I don’t know what is sadder, the fact that I watch Desperate Housewives or the fact that I subscribe to the LA Times. Ugh. Scratch that. Definitely the latter.
Living in a one-bedroom flat in Delhi, the The ten members of the Pullan family, headed by Rosetauri, 50, and his wife Mani, 45, are set to land in the Guinness Book of World Records for the world’s largest Albino family.
.The couple say they have had a ‘tough life’ and often been treated as outsiders, but mother Mani says despite the family’s setbacks she sees the condition as a ‘gift from God’.
Renu, their 23 year old daughter, married a man who also had albinism, Rosheh, 27, and the couple’s son Dharamraj, 2, also inherited the condition from his parents.
I’ve professed my love for the British tabloid the Daily Mail before when they decided that Fatbooth-ing Victoria’s Secret Models was considered Journalism. So as a special treat and as an ode to my favorite “news” source, I’ve decided to show their three best un-news articles:
1. “Zombie George Washington: How a mad scientist planned to reanimate the first president with lamb’s blood after he died” – LINK
I thought they were writing a review for a book of the ever-popular zombie genre, but then they said this:
The tale of zombie George Washington, revealed by the science fiction blog io9, is reminiscent of the best selling book ‘Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,’ which recast the 16th president as a combat-hardened vampire slayer. Except Washington’s story is true.
2. Ugg boots banned at school after students caught hiding cell phones in the fuzzy footwear – LINK
Anyone remember the Ugg boots and mini Continue reading
In protest of the Stop Online Piracy Act, WordPress had decided to black out it’s front page. Clicking on one of the censored links, leads you HERE, where you can sign an online petition against SOPA.
WordPress is only one of a long list of sites that will be doing this. Hopefully, these tactics will work. I’m not gonna start ranting about politicians here because I may never ever stop.
For those of you who are unfamiliar with SOPA, read THIS LINK from Gizmodo. It explains a lot.
I’ve been looking for a good news website for a while. There’s some that I glance at from time to time, but none of them have really stuck. Except one. I really should be embarrassed to admit this, but I love the British Tabloid The Daily Mail.
Today, I learned of the woman who had sex with her underage nephew at Thanksgiving, The French government hating on the name Daemon for being too supernatural, and the real house based on the one in the Disney Movie Up!
But yesterday, they had an article so stupid that it seemed like 13 year teen boys had developed the concept.
Victoria’s Secret Models Fatboothed (read it here)
For those of you who still haven’t figured out what Fatbooth is, it is an application where you can make someone look really fat. It’s funny and you can do it on your friends. It’s taken a while for me to perfect “my FatBooth face”: a slightly agape mouth, an awkward smile and wide, clueless eyes. It looks horrendous every time (and no I won’t be posting it).
Here’s one more and you can see the rest of the pictures in the article.
I found out today that the Daily Mail was Britain’s first daily newspaper aimed at the newly literate “lower-middle class market resulting from mass education combining a low retail price with plenty of competitions, prizes and promotional gimmicks”, and the first British paper to sell a million copies a day. At least they knew their market.
Tomorrow: I fatbooth puppies and ask for a journalism prize.
I remember during Junior High that THE place to be was the mall. I have very little recollection on anything we did there, but I have vague memories of looking at the overpriced graphic tees at Hot Topic (the ones bordering between trendy, alternative and horrendously infantile), admiring Hot Dog on a Stick workers AND eating Dippin’ Dots.
That’s why I was so sad to hear that Dippin’ Dots has filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Granted I haven’t had those freezing drops of ice cream for over 6 or 7 years (they are made by using liquid nitrogen), but I did enjoy them when I did have them (I always liked mixing Chocolate with Banana Dots). They are currently about $11 million in debt, and have been continuing to operate while they went through bankruptcy proceedings. Despite their difficulties, they have managed to grow over 6.6% over the last year (yet still at a loss)
With a motto like “The ice cream of the future” they were pretty much setting themselves up for failure.
I assume that everyone has heard that Steve Jobs passed away yesterday (Rest in Peace). I value his work and insight, but some of things being said about him I find just a wee bit frustrating. From a facebook friend (sorry friend!):
Our parents had JFK, we had Steve Jobs. Edison gave us electricity, Jobs gave us the Jetsons in real life. We lost an icon today. You will be missed.
UGH – Is it necessary to mention JFK, Edison and the Jetsons in one facebook status? I hate this for so many reasons, but I will focus on one thing: Is Steve Jobs the Thomas Edison of our Generation?
So I was excited to see that the Los Angeles Times today had an article called “Comparing Jobs to Edison doesn’t quite capture it” (couldn’t find it online). I was hoping it would shed light on the type of businessman and so called inventor that Edison was, but it didn’t. In fact the article mentions Edison once and just uses all the stupid assumptions we learned about him in elementary school.
So, I’ll go out and just say it… Thomas Edison was an ASSHOLE. Below you will find some of the reasons why:
1. The Patent Wars
Edison holds over 1,000 patents, and is considered one of the most prolific inventors of all time. Many of these patents dealt with movie cameras and similar equipment. The Edison Film Manufacturing Company owned the majority of patents of the film equipment used in the early 20th century. It wasn’t enough that Edison would receive money for all the equipment he sold, he demanded licensing fees from all film producers, distributors and exhibitors. He formed a legal monopoly and began blacklisting or suing independent companies who didn’t follow his rules.
So-called outlaws (including the names you may recognize of Laemmle and Fox) moved out to California to avoid the legal retribution of Edison’s Trust. On a happy note, these outlaws were involved in a lot of the innovation of the time and helped form Hollywood. Edison though…He was the MPAA of the early 20th century. Anti-innovation all in the name of $$$$$.
ASSHOLE POINTS: 3.5/5 – An Anti-trust lawsuit was eventually filed against him, so he didn’t end up getting away with it. (MPAA on the other hand 4.5/5)
2. He destroyed Tesla’s Life Work and his Reputation Continue reading
Herzog is a miserable, hateful, malevolent, avaricious, money-hungry, nasty, sadistic, treacherous, cowardly creep…he should be thrown alive to the crocodiles! An anaconda should strangle him slowly! A poisonous spider should sting him and paralyze his lungs! The most venomous serpent should bite him and make his brain explode! No — panther claws should rip open his throat — that would be much too good for him! Huge red ants should piss into his lying eyes and gobble up his balls and his guts! He should catch the plague! Syphilis! Yellow fever! Leprosy! It’s no use; the more I wish him the most gruesome deaths, the more he haunts me
-Klaus Kinski in Kinski Uncut : The Autobiography of Klaus Kinski (1997)
Before I begin to talk about the more recent news regarding director Werner Herzog, I think it’s important for me to tell you why this German filmmaker should be on your radar. Besides directing films such as Grizzly Man, Fitzcaralldo, Aguire: Wrath of God, he is absolutely fascinating to listen to and
1. He was shot mid-interview and continued with the interview anyway. You can find the video proof HERE.
2. He lost a bet against documentary fillmaker Errol Morris and ate his shoe when he lost the bet.
3. He and I share a mutual dislike for chickens, describing them as “frightening for me because their stupidity is so flat. You look into the eyes of a chicken and you lose yourself in a completely flat, frightening stupidity. They are like a great metaphor for me… I kind of love chicken, but they frighten me more than any other animal.”
There is so much more about him (like him reading Where’s Waldo), that I URGE you to look up more information about him. I guarantee he will become your new favorite person.
SO THE NEWS: Continue reading